Legacies are for the Living
by Robert Hackman
Picture by Aaron Lee on Unsplash
I’m living my purpose
Mind real focused
From the song ‘Living My Purpose’
By Q. Daniels (featuring RebelSe7)
‘Legacies are for the Living’ was the theme of an Entrepreneur’s Organization event I attended centered around a presentation and discussion of the film ‘Man in the Red Bandana’ by Matt Weis. I recommend you see it.
The documentary movie is remarkable on many levels, not the least of which are the courage and integrity of its subject and the lives he has impacted, and that a New York traffic attorney made it with no experience in filmmaking. The story riveted Matt and compelled him to undertake the project.
This article focuses on the ramifications of its title, Matt Weiss’s claim, ‘Legacies are for the living,’ and the way Legacies relate to you. What makes legacies potent? Do you live them or leave them? What makes legacies vital for you right now?
A viewer of ‘Man with the Red Bandana’ might be tempted to think the celebrity, notoriety, and breadth of Welles Crowther’s Legacy is what makes it so compelling. Those elements certainly amplified and extended its reach.
To me, however, the most vital aspect of Welles’ Legacy is its fusion with his purpose.
You will find his purpose was not typical and not arrived at so readily. It necessitated a great deal of sacrifice. Yet, he seemed to intuitively know his purpose aligned with who he was and, most of all, who he aspired to be.
One of the rarest and most potent gifts anyone can provide through their legacies is choosing the path that resonates most entirely with them, even if others cannot do not approve or comprehend why.
So many of the decisions the majority of us make in life stay within the lines to ensure we are accepted and do not risk getting thrown out of our tribes. We compromise, go along to get along, and do not rock the boat.
We round down our sharp edges to keep ourselves from standing out. We prioritize status and the regard of others over our own. Too frequently, we tone it down, keeping what really gets us revved up to ourselves in service to no one.
Welles did not seek to place his life purpose in the spotlight. If he had, it might have lost some of its luster. The authenticity and genuineness of his desire create outsized relevance for us. You can choose to do the same in your own ways.
All who live lives in deeply integrated, personally gratifying ways for themselves while serving the greater good of others illuminate the path for the rest of us and show us how to live the lives we want and leave the legacies we intend.
It will not always be pretty. You will offend people along the way. Yet, if you reflect and take stock regularly, you will recognize when you are off course, forgive yourself and others, and strive to get back on track.
Pursuing a life of worthy legacies takes faith, persistence, and compassion.
If you are only about others, you are a martyr. If you are only about yourself, you are self-absorbed. Giving in to what truly lights you up while inviting others in represents the epitome of selfishness in its highest and most generous form.
They emanate from decision-making, words, and actions that embody what Howard Thurman proclaimed, ‘Do not ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because the world needs people who have come alive.’
Welles Crowther teemed with life.
We all crave the courage to grab the brass ring of vitality and mattering. Despite the risks, we come to terms with who we are and fully commit to becoming who we aspire to be.
During my interviews with people about Legacy, I discovered that the word turned many off. They associated the term with self-aggrandizement. Wanting to put their name on a company, a building, or a foundation was of interest to them. Making a difference for other people did.
Your legacies comprise your impact on others, your environment, and what you leave behind. You always live and leave your legacies simultaneously, which is why you cannot wait to ‘work on them.’
You pretend when you forget, you are not perpetually generating your Legacy.
Your Legacy is the whole enchilada. You cannot selectively choose the best parts and pretend the unseemly aspects of it don’t count. It all does.
Consequently, Legacy Mindsets make you more responsible. They jolt you into realizing your life is not a dress rehearsal. It is the real deal.
An airplane’s automatic pilot points directly at their target only 5% of the flight. It tacks back and forth for the remainder of the trip, constantly readjusting itself to get back on course – on purpose – and reach its desired destination.
The same is true for you. You do best by setting a purposeful direction, taking action to support it, staying attentive, readjusting, and practicing self-compassion for yourself and others when you veer off course.
Such is the practice of living and leading with fewer regrets.
Worthy inquiries:
- Do you believe Legacies are for the living? If so, what does that mean for you? If not, who are they for?
- What is your purpose? How will others know it?
- What comprises your Legacies right now? Are they what you want? If not, are you willing to change course?
- Do you know the Legacies you want? If not, are you ready to commit to determining them? If so, are you pursuing them?
- What does the realization that you live and leave your Legacies all the time mean for you? Can you stay on purpose without taking yourself too seriously? Can you be kind to yourself when you get off track?
Please contact me to learn how you use Legacy Mindsets to transform you, your family, your teams, and your organization. I welcome the conversation.
Robert Hackman, Principal, 4C Consulting and Coaching, helps people live and lead with fewer regrets. He grows and develops leaders through executive coaching consulting, facilitation, and training of individuals, teams, and organizations. He is committed to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. He facilitates trusting environments that promote uncommonly candid conversations. Rob is also passionate about the power of developing Legacy Mindsets and has conducted over 50 Legacy interviews with people to date.
A serious man with a dry sense of humor who loves absurdity can often be found hiking rocky elevations or making music playlists. His mixes, including Pandemic Playlists and Music About Men, can be found on Spotify.
Bravely bring your curiosity to a conversation with Rob, schedule via voice or text @ 484.800.2203 or rhackman@4cconsulting.net.