Embracing Gratitude with Open Eyes and Wounded Hearts
by Robert Hackman
Photograph by Laura Fuhrman on Unsplash
Giving thanks for my friends and my family
I couldn’t make it sometimes
Without them helping me
Lyrics from the song ‘Thanks and Praise’
By G. Love (performed by G. Love and Jasper)
The picture above shows a couple hugging in recognition and appreciation that they had finally become pregnant after many years of failed attempts. Despite their valiant efforts, earnest intentions, and significant investment, it had not come to be – until it did.
Knowing their experience makes the picture more potent and moving.
Two nephews and their wives struggled through the same issues. Thankfully, one of the couples gave birth to a son, and the wife of the other couple has entered her second trimester.
Despite our protestations otherwise, we do not control what happens to us. I am most grateful for their vulnerability and the love they displayed for one another through their trials and tribulations, knowing the pregnancies may never have occurred or come to term.
Their experiences are representative of the hurts each of us endures in our lives. We are all challenged to practice gratitude when things do not work out, and we experience heartbreak and loss. Sometimes, our personal experiences or what we witness in the world are overwhelming.
How can you stay openhearted? How can you give thanks while acknowledging your pain and hardships and those of others? How can you embrace gratitude with open eyes and a wounded heart?
How Can You Stay Openhearted?
You can pause. You can slow down, breathe, pay attention, and attune to those around you and your environment. You can release judgments of yourself and others, even if only for brief periods.
Pausing is one of the most grounding things we can do. Still, it is a practice we often resist. Try it instead and see how it feels.
You can connect with others, nature, art, poetry, and music. Availing yourself of these things softens and settles you, bringing you back to the possibilities in the present moment.
How Can You Give Thanks While Acknowledging Your Pain and Hardships and Those of Others?
You can engage in conversation with others, expressing genuine interest in their experience, perspectives, and feelings. You can let down your guard. You can listen generously. You can be with yourself and others in your common grief and recognize your shared humanity with them. You will not be overcome.
The lived experiences of others are both different and like yours. Their experience does not deny or threaten yours. You can release the belief that it does. Both can coexist. You can resist judgment and stay curious.
Comparison does not help anyone. Acceptance, empathy, and compassion do. Do not turn away from connection. Instead, seek ways to strengthen it, even in the smallest of ways and the most fleeting of interactions. You are hardwired for connection. You hurt yourself and others when you ignore that fact.
Remember, you are constantly making an impact and leaving something behind with others and your environment. Strive to make them worthwhile. You never know how far they will ripple out.
How Can You Embrace Gratitude With Open Eyes and a Wounded Heart
Recognize that we all have been hurt and that we are all hurting. Knowing your own pain more intimately than others does not diminish theirs or elevate yours.
Spend time being with others. Take time to send loving kindness to them and all living things.
Recognize that our brains seek equilibrium. They are not designed for relentless positivity or persistent pursuit of hedonic pleasure. Shadow must be present when light exists. Allow for a full range of feelings, knowing you will not be consumed by them.
Sometimes, family is the source of deep pain, more than restorative solace. Most of the time, it is a mixture of both. Gather with those who welcome and accept you and with whom you resonate. Take care of yourself, not only for yourself, but to care for others too.
Give your Love to a world that is hurting. Acknowledge the distress others endure. Do what you can. Recognize we all suffer and that there are always people and things for which to be grateful.
Thank you for engaging with my thinking and writing. I am deeply appreciative. I hope you find it helpful. Please take what you like and leave the rest. I send you Loving Kindness.
Please remember to give thanks and practice gratitude. You will be kinder when you do. Expressing genuine appreciation for another makes both of you feel good.
Our world could do with a whole lot more kindness and Love. Let it start with you.
Worthy Inquiries:
- Do you accept that you cannot control most of what happens to you? How might letting go of that illusion open you to relating?
- Are you willing to pause amid your hectic life? What might slowing down make available for you?
- Do you express genuine interest in others, their perspectives, and feelings? What happens when you do?
- Can you acknowledge that knowing your own pain more intimately does not lessen theirs or magnify yours? How would recognizing that open you to greater connection?
- Are you willing to practice being grateful? Will you commit to expressing your appreciation for others in your life?
Please reach out to me for help embracing gratitude with open eyes and a wounded heart to strengthen your connections to benefit you, your family, your community, your team, your organization, and the world. I welcome the conversation.
Robert Hackman, Principal, 4C Consulting and Coaching, helps people live and lead with fewer regrets. He grows and develops leaders through executive coaching consulting, facilitation, and training of individuals, teams, and organizations. He is committed to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. He facilitates trusting environments that promote uncommonly candid conversations. Rob is also passionate about the power of developing Legacy Mindsets and has conducted over 50 Legacy interviews with people to date.
A serious man with a dry sense of humor who loves absurdity can often be found hiking rocky elevations or making music playlists. His mixes, including Pandemic Playlists and Music About Men, among others, can be found on Spotify.
Bravely bring your curiosity to a conversation with Rob, schedule via voice or text @ 484.800.2203 or rhackman@4cconsulting.net.