Picture by Supply on Unsplash
Sending you forget me nots
To help me to remember
From the song ‘Forgot Me Nots’
By Patrice Rushen
I used my first remembering device during an in-person coaching workshop of the Coactive Training Institute over 20 years ago.
The lead facilitator requested each participant bring something meaningful to Saturday morning’s session. I had traveled to northern Virginia with nothing but my clothes, shaving kit, and bike.
I ended up presenting a can of shaving cream, relating how versatile it is, how it could be playful, plopping a dollop of it on a woman’s nose. Because of its expansive qualities, there is always more inside than meets the eyes.
The other participants loved it, and I learned a lesson worth applying ever since.
I keep a can of shaving cream on my desk as a reminder to be creative, resourceful and to expand possibilities for myself and others. Admittedly, the prompt does not guarantee I will respond as intended, yet the reminder significantly improves my chances.
Forgetfulness
Can you recall when you developed insights you wanted to implement or a behavior pattern you desired to change? You recognized them as essential to becoming the person you aspired to be.
If so, did you make them stick? I am guessing probably not. In his book Triggers, Marshall Goldsmith reminds us of a delusional belief we seem destined to repeat. ‘If we know, we will do.’ Regardless of how frequently we prove ourselves wrong.
Ways of Remembering
We require something more to nudge us in the direction we seek to go. Goldsmith emphasizes the critical role accountability partners, such as coaches, mentors, and friends, can play in the change process.
Even with accountability partners, I find I need more help remembering. I am prone to forget in the very moments I need to recall a new behavior most.
The critical question is what do I know and when do I know it?’ What I hold in my mind can shift at any given moment, and therein lies the problem.
I need something more insistent. I need remembering devices to jog my awareness and remind me to employ my new response until it becomes habitual.
“Change happens through meaningful actions repeated in crucial moments over time.”
These triggers need not be clever. So long as you imbue them with your intended meaning, you get their messages instantaneously. The best ones are simple.
“Crucially, remembering devices make change easier and more fun – thus making it more likely to occur.”
These tools introduce ease into our process, enabling us to relinquish the shoulder to grindstone approach.
Playful mindsets open us to laughing at how clumsy we can feel when trying something new. Playfulness moves us away from harsh judgment and introduces us to fun and ease, thereby inviting acceptance of the change we seek.
The judgment makes us stuck, tires us out, and causes us to revert to old ways of being and doing – thereby nullifying the transformation we seek.
When you keep them accessible, you continuously reinforce what you want most, setting a virtuous cycle in motion. Remembering the device sparks you to integrate the behavior, which helps you recall the device, success breeds success.
Our minds generate 45,000 thoughts a day, 70% of which are negative. Consequently, we need a lot of prodding to keep our minds ‘out of the ditch’ and on track.
Remembering devices are essential because they translate the conceptual into concrete action and new ways of thinking and being. They can be deceptively vital components of embracing change and accelerating growth.
Key take-aways:
- Left to your initiative alone, you will likely forget newfound awareness and knowledge when you need it most.
- Repeating meaningful actions in critical moments over time is how you transform new behaviors into habits and skills.
- Remembering devices can take almost any form, such as jewelry, talismans, clothing, pictures, so long as they are readily accessible to you and prompt your recall when necessary.
- Triggering devices introduce ease and fun into the change process, making it more likely to occur.
- Simple nudges, employed consistently, represent deceptively essential elements to successfully adopting change.
If you want help employing remembering devices for yourself, your team, or your organization, please reach out to me; I welcome the connection.