Curiosity and the Curse of Knowledge
by Robert Hackman
Picture by Siora Photography on Unsplash
Knowledge ain’t the same as knowin’
Maybe today will be different
Maybe tomorrow will be the same
I try and view it from a different angle
I put the picture in a different frame
From the song ‘Knowledge’ by Love HZ
Several years ago, I attended a technology networking event centered around Blockchain.
It was well attended by people ranging from high-tech nerds to business people and consultants.
The first two presenters were experts and spoke that way. They talked over the heads of most participants in ways that prevented us from gaining even a foothold of understanding.
Bill Evans, the third speaker, articulated the concepts at a fundamental level and then built on them. He did not assume. Bill checked in with the audience to determine what they knew and calibrated his talk to it. He started from the beginning, not the middle.
He dialed back his expertise and used plain language and real-life stories to explain it. Consequently, his talk resonated with others, and he developed an easy conversational rapport with the audience.
I felt lost and turned off while trying to comprehend the first two speakers without success. On the contrary, I felt a resonance that drew me in from Bill.
As the story shows, the curse of knowledge can cripple curiosity and connection between people, whether between two people conversing, a presenter and their audience, an executive and their associates, or a company and its customers. It effectively eliminates the intention of communication, conveying information, sharing feelings, and building relationships.
It shows up more often than you might think. The curse of knowledge is much more likely to occur when you speak about something new.
The consequences can be significant. The lack of quality communication is the root of many problems. You can reduce them with awareness, simple questions, and care.
Has this ever happened to you? What were the consequences? What steps can you take to avoid the curse?
What is the Curse of Knowledge?
The curse of knowledge is characterized by the fact that once we know something, it can be challenging to remember what it was like before we knew it. Thus, our ‘knowing’ creates blind spots for us that reside below our level of awareness.
The term emanated from a 1990 experiment conducted by Elizabeth Newton. In it, one participant learns the name of a song they can instantly hear in their heads. These participants were asked to predict their ability to convey the same music to another by tapping its beats on a table with their fingers.
Once participants knew the song, they could not get it out of their heads. As a result, they grossly exaggerated their ability to communicate the music to a participant who did not know it because they could not unknow it themselves.
It is critical to remember we are opaque and not transparent. Others cannot know what we are thinking or what we know, whether it be a spouse or colleague.
When we fail to take them back to the beginning, we speak to them from the middle of our story while they are in the midst of their own.
How often have you or your spouse thought the other should know what you are thinking? It is a crazy, funny, frequently frustrating point of contention and accurate. Ouch!
What are the consequences for you and others?
The ‘curse’ shuts down communication, creates separation, lowers trust, and damages relationships.
It cuts us off from being curious. Once we ‘know’ something for sure, we develop resistance to alternative possibilities – a significant problem for experts, who dismiss the wisdom that can come from those with a beginner’s mind that is not yet closed off to them.
Have you ever experienced offering an idea to a different company department than your own, only to be shot down because of your perceived lack of expertise despite its quality?
Companies run the risk of speaking a different language than their targeted customers too. In doing so, they fail to connect, persuade them to buy, or generate loyalty.
How can you avoid the curse?
You can pause, consider your audience, and choose to avoid jargon with which they may not be familiar. You can take them back to your beginning before you acquired the knowledge and describe your learning process.
We learn through storytelling. It lights up the emotional parts of our brains and causes us to care. Take the time to learn how to tell stories well to avoid the curse.
You can question those with whom you interact to determine what they know, their degree of interest, and how open they are to listen to what you have to say.
Skip trying to impress others by showing them how much you know. Instead, focus on what’s in it for them, what you want them to gain, and why they should care. If you don’t, they will tune you out.
Make your communication about them. The measure of communication is not what you have said or how you have said it. It is the degree of understanding attained by your audience. The responsibility is yours, not theirs.
If you are presenting, ask questions clarifying what they know, their interests, and the questions and implications most pertinent to them. Make sure you circle back to them before you close to learn whether you hit the mark.
When I make assert something to those I am speaking to or point out something to groups while facilitating, I continually ask, ‘Is that fair?
My inquiry intends to make sure my audience remains with me and that they understand what I have said. It invites them to add their thoughts and experiences, disagree with, or question what I have conveyed.
Remaining curious and open is an antidote to the curse of knowledge. When you are closed off or in judgment, return to curiosity to shift into a healthier and more helpful mindset.
Worthy considerations:
- Have you ever experienced the effects of the curse of knowledge, either as the speaker or the listener? What impact did you notice it had on the quality of communication?
- What happens to your curiosity when you lose track of what another person is saying?
- Can you engage your curiosity to consider how best to communicate your meaning to others? If you are presenting, how about doing a practice run for others and getting their feedback about how you come across?
- How would developing the practice of pausing and taking the time to go back to the beginning improve your ability to communicate? What would that do for your audience?
- How does taking responsibility for ensuring you have conveyed a shared understanding to your audience or another person alter how you approach your communication style and methods?
Please contact me to learn how to remain curious and avoid the negative consequences caused by the curse of knowledge in your family, your teams, and your organization. I welcome the conversation.
Robert Hackman, Principal, 4C Consulting and Coaching, helps people live and lead with fewer regrets. He grows and develops leaders through executive coaching consulting, facilitation, and training individuals, teams, and organizations. He is committed to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. He facilitates trusting environments that promote uncommonly candid conversations. Rob is also passionate about the power of developing Legacy Mindsets and has conducted over 50 Legacy interviews with people to date.
A serious man with a dry sense of humor who loves absurdity can often be found hiking rocky elevations or making music playlists. His mixes, including Pandemic Playlists and Music About Men, can be found on Spotify.
Bravely bring your curiosity to a conversation with Rob, schedule via voice or text @ 484.800.2203 or rhackman@4cconsulting.net.